Crooked World
by dti
Summary: Oneshot. Sasuke discovers something alarmingly disturbing about Naruto. For the first time in his life he honestly has no idea what to do.


**Crooked World**

Sasuke sighed as he made his way up the old wooden staircases of his teammates apartment complex. He kept his chakra ready for if his foot fell through the rotting wood. He was positive there couldn't be too much life left in the old things with the way they creaked.

Sasuke didn't want to do this but he knew he had to. Something had been off, alarmingly so. If Sasuke had to covet anything of Naruto, it was his stamina. It didn't matter how many hits he landed, Naruto always seemed to just bounce back up like nothing happened.

It started when Naruto began to stop getting up after sparring. Never before had Sasuke ever seen Naruto _not_ pull himself to his feet long enough to at least make it to his apartment.

Several months ago was the first time he actually couldn't get up after taking a particularly nasty hit to the side of his chest. Sasuke knew he wasn't just being lazy either. He'd even gone through the effort to pull Naruto to his feet just to watch as his knees buckled and he grabbed onto Sasuke's upper arms in some sort of attempt to keep himself from hitting the ground again. Sasuke was too shocked to actually do anything before Naruto's grip slipped and he landed on the floor again. Sasuke felt overwhelmingly guilty for not only pulling him to his unsteady feet without asking if he were ok, but for not reacting as he passed out right before him.

But that had been after hours upon hours of intense sparing so Sasuke didn't really worry about it even though something was telling him it was just a forewarning.

Because it really was just a forewarning; Naruto started collapsing on a daily basis and Sasuke scolded him for letting himself go that far. He'd tell the blonde that he needed to just let Sasuke know when he was done.

But as if Naruto would ever do that.

Sparring sessions started going from sun up to sun down, to several hours long, before declining to just short of an hour and Sasuke was starting to wonder if he was just getting stronger or if Naruto was just getting weaker.

But he knew it had to be much more than a simple matter of this or that when Naruto went down after only one solid hit this morning; Sasuke had to wonder if he was ill.

It was disconcerting, even to him. And he never worried about _anything_.

He knocked impatiently on the door and crossed his arms when no one answered for several long moments. His gaze shifted to the sky visible at the end of the open hallway and he realized that, yeah, maybe it was a little late for him to be making unannounced house calls, but he honestly didn't care. It's not like Naruto had a life outside of his ninja duties.

He knocked again before letting out a frustrated sigh when, again, he earned no response. His hand went to the knob and he turned it, half expecting that it'd be unlocked. He wasn't disappointed. The knob turned easily and he pushed the door open.

"I'm coming in you idiot," he greeted in a vexed tone as he slipped his shoes off at the front door.

"I didn't answer for a _reason_!" Naruto's irritated voice assured from the kitchen. Sasuke noticed something heavy with his tone and he wondered if Naruto just woke up from a long nap.

But as soon as he stepped into the kitchen he realized Naruto hadn't been sleeping. There was a tipped over can of beer on the kitchen table and a garbage can in Naruto's hand as he grabbed the last remaining piece of evidence that he'd been drinking before throwing it on the pile of cans already littering the garbage before the trashcan was put back under the sink and Naruto sat heavily at his table.

"So is this why you've been sucking so much lately? You've been hung over every morning for the past couple weeks?" Sasuke asked, his tone somewhat amused. It wasn't his job to judge Naruto for what he wanted to do. If he wanted to trash himself each night, then fine. That was his choice. It didn't bother him, right? Sure, it affected his training when someone like Naruto stopped being able to keep up with him but it's not like Naruto was put there for him to use as a training tool. If it was a big deal, he could just as easily find another training partner. It really didn't concern him at all. Yeah, Sasuke was pretty good at convincing himself to believe all the wrong facts.

"_You_ are a dumbass. To be hung over you have to be drunk first. And I," he began, pausing slightly as he placed a heavy hand over his chest, "am not drunk."

His lethargic movements said otherwise as he pointed lazily at the raven in accusation after insulting him.

"You are absolutely drunk," the raven countered easily as Naruto shook his head slightly, his eyes slipping closed as he laid his hands down on the table as if preparing himself to say something with great meaning.

"I swear to drunk I'm not god," Naruto mumbled, his voice thick with an alcoholic slur that Sasuke recognized too well. When he opened his eyes again it was as if he expected to see Sasuke gazing back with a genuine look of belief in his words. Sasuke looked the exact opposite.

"Ok," Sasuke agreed sarcastically, noticing how Naruto didn't even wince in the aftermath of his slipup. At Sasuke's tone, Naruto seemed to glance away slightly as he mulled over his own words before his features fell to an irritated scowl.

"Ok, I'm a little drunk," he revised, holding up his finger and his thumb closely together to indicate a 'small amount', "I would offer you a beer but, I don't know if I have any left."

Sasuke didn't want one; he just wanted to confirm how plastered Naruto was. He opened the fridge, unsurprised to find an empty carton where twelve cans of beer used to be.

Drinking didn't suit him. He hated impairment of any kind.

But this was Naruto's choice. It didn't affect him. It was Naruto's choice and he had no right to feel as angry as he did.

But the fact remained that he _was_ angry. Or maybe it was a weird mixture between upset and worried. He couldn't tell. He'd never felt anything like that before so it was difficult to define. All he knew was how to respond to it.

"Naruto. Come here."

Naruto shot him a puzzled look for a second before complying, standing up and stumbling to the side slightly before catching himself.

"What?" he asked when he was within arm's reach of the raven.

A fist flew across his face but he didn't even see it coming. All he saw was the floor as he hit it and he moved his hands to support himself as he attempted to pull himself off the ground.

Naruto didn't seem to mind the impairment.

"Oh Jesus. I'm on the ground," he mumbled to himself, seeming to wonder how he'd gotten there. He was probably too drunk to feel the pain that should have been blossoming across his cheek where Sasuke's fist had painfully collided. Sasuke didn't care though. He'd feel it tomorrow.

Sasuke's arms wrapped around him from behind and dragged him to his feet. He felt himself being placed back into his chair at the table and he fought to keep his head from falling forward and slamming onto the table. Passing out would be so wonderful right now.

But he couldn't pass out yet. He still had something he knew he had to do. He could tell by the nausea boiling at the pit of his stomach. But he couldn't complain. He did this to himself.

"Sasuke, you should probably leave. I'm uh – sorry if there was something you needed but I'm going to go in there," he began as he pointed toward the bathroom, "And puke my fucking stomach up and I'm sure you don't need to stay for that."

Sasuke didn't flinch at his bold wording. Naruto was impudent when he was _sober_ so his uncensored way of talking didn't catch him off guard anymore.

"Didn't that drunk pervert of a teacher teach you anything about handling alcohol?" Sasuke teased in a dark tone, earning a glare from the blonde across the table from him.

"I know my limit," he assured easily before standing from his chair, "I just don't give a fuck."

He stumbled his way toward the bathroom, his pace quickening slightly at the last three steps and he slammed the door shut behind him. Sasuke sighed in irritation before getting up slowly and making his way toward the bathroom door, knowing that in his haste, Naruto wouldn't have been able to lock it.

He opened the door and watched as Naruto heaved, his stomach emptying itself of everything there was to offer. He stepped further into the room before turning and leaning against the sink counter, staring at the wall as he listened to Naruto pay homage to the porcelain bowl. He knew it'd be while before Naruto was done. Alcohol induced vomiting wasn't often a short torture. It usually dragged on for ages. Just when the heaving would stop, and his breathing was under control, the nausea would flare up again as if enjoying the fickle game.

It was nearly fifteen minutes later when he finally looked over toward the blonde, his eyebrows almost furrowing in pity.

Sasuke figured he should probably extend some sort of gesture of comfort; throwing up was the worst. But when he looked closer, it almost looked like Naruto was _enjoying_ it.

Naruto's breathing evened out and it seemed like he knew he was done as he reached up, flushing the toilet with incredible accuracy for being on his knees and drunk as hell. Naruto's eyes were closed and Sasuke remembered that after the few times _he_ puked his guts out it took several blind flips of his wrist before he found the small silver lever.

A wild idea blossomed through Sasuke's cognition and he almost smacked himself for having to investigate it.

He could just leave. This wasn't really his problem.

But he didn't. He wouldn't leave because if he was honest with himself, he didn't want to.

He kneeled down next to the blonde, placing a gentle hand on the whiskered cheek furthest from him and smoothly forcing Naruto's clammy face toward his. His free hand went to the opposite jaw and his thumb coaxed Naruto's mouth open. Naruto was too far somewhere else to bother struggling against it.

There were sores on his throat and in his mouth and Sasuke knew this wasn't an uncommon thing that he'd walked in on.

"Do you purge when you're sober too?"

Naruto probably would have stiffened if he were sober. He probably would have shot Sasuke a disgusted look and told him to mind his own business as he denied the hell out of the accusation. He would have done everything he could to convince Sasuke of the exact opposite and he probably would have succeeded because honestly, Sasuke knew Naruto was good as hell at lying. It was a terrifying thought really, knowing how deceitful Naruto was capable of being and he vaguely wondered what other alarmingly dangerous habitual flaws Naruto practiced in the privacy of his home. And if Naruto had been sober, he probably could have kept this one to himself for a little while longer.

But Naruto wasn't sober. Naruto was drunk. Naruto was _very_ drunk. He just raised an eyebrow as he opened his eyes to stare at Sasuke as he released the grasp on his face. He seemed to be shocked by the accuracy of the term Sasuke used, as if he would have described it as something different up to that point. Purging? Yeah. Purging. That's what it was. He just never heard such a pretty term for it. It was always filthy words when he thought about it.

"No."

Sasuke ignored the answer as he grabbed Naruto's right wrist and flipped his hand over, his gaze finding the old scars and calluses along his knuckles and Sasuke knew he was lying.

He dropped the wrist in his grasp and leaned back slightly as his gaze shifted to the wall to his right. The weight of the information he was processing felt like the world and he was having a difficult time dealing with what all this meant.

"It just feels good," Naruto admitted in a voice so soft Sasuke almost missed it. Sasuke glanced over and saw the relief clear on his features. Naruto never looked this relaxed. There was always an air about him that was just too friendly, deceptively so. Sasuke had always suspected it was a farce. He could tell by how hard Naruto tried just to keep it up. It looked strenuous but Sasuke knew only _he_ really saw that side of it. No one else seemed to suspect an ulterior motive to smiling other than just because he was happy. But then again, no one else knew Naruto quite like he did.

"It's like all the bad is tugging away and it feels so close to what I think 'normal' is supposed to feel like."

His eyes were closed and his voice was so desperate Sasuke wondered if Naruto knew he was still here. He seemed so lost in whatever sick fantasy it was he was talking about. He couldn't quite tell with the way Naruto worded things. Sometimes he spoke in such riddles that he had a difficult time deciphering where the root of Naruto's words came from. It was like his mouth worked before his mind could put the feeling into common sense. Was the purging guilt ridden or was Naruto honestly that self-conscious about his weight? It had sounded like Naruto was talking about some sort of escape from reality and he wouldn't have been surprised if that's what it was with the way the village treated him, but his eyes found a scale at the corner of the bathroom and it looked very used. Sasuke didn't even own a scale.

"It's not gone. But it's almost like it wants to be."

Sasuke still had no idea what Naruto was talking about. But it didn't bother him. He _felt_ what Naruto meant by his tone. His heart ached in a painful way he couldn't really understand. If the feeling didn't soon flee, he feared for his sanity.

Sasuke reached out, his hand resting on Naruto's stomach and he was alarmed with how big his jacket was on him. That was probably why nobody had noticed how thin he was. His hand moved up and he could easily feel each of Naruto's ribs.

Sasuke looked up at the sound of a choked sob and he saw a stream of tears pour out from under Naruto's clenched eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" Sasuke asked incredulously as he tried to understand this foreign side of the blonde. Naruto shook his head slightly, his eyes still tightly shut. By the look on his features, he seemed to be wondering something along the same lines.

"Don't touch me," he cried softly in a voice that was more pleading and desperate than anything Sasuke had ever heard before.

"Naruto I think you're sick."

He said it because he didn't really know what else to say.

"Don't tell me that!" the blonde screamed, his voice hysteric, cracking slightly from the volume and the soreness of his throat. His shaking hands flew to his ears and he bit back a sob before it could escape his lips. Sasuke could tell how hard he was trying to stop himself from crying. The strain left his shoulders stiff and for someone as drunk as Naruto, that was quite a feat.

"You need to hear it," the raven assured as he tugged at Naruto's thin wrist, pulling his hand away so he would hear what Sasuke was saying.

"I don't want to hear it!" he yelled back, yanking roughly at the grasp on his wrist but when the grip didn't give he resorted to shrugging the shoulder of his captured wrist up as he tilted his head, covering his ear with the tip of his bony shoulder as he squeezed his eyes shut tighter still, "It doesn't matter what you say. I'm not sick. I'm not different. I'll wake up tomorrow and forget about tonight and if you talk about it again I'll cut your tongue out I swear to god."

Sasuke released the wrist in his hand and he sat back on the tile floor, a look of complete disbelief on his features.

It seemed like Naruto was pretty good at convincing himself into believing all the wrong facts as well.

But Sasuke wasn't surprised and he didn't blame Naruto for developing that kind of defense mechanism. When the world was as fucked up as it was, there wasn't really much of another option than to pretend everything wasn't what it really was.

But there was a line. There was a distinct line and Sasuke always stayed at least a hair's width away from it. Naruto was giving the line the finger and Sasuke knew that was a dangerous gamble with his sanity.

But that was Naruto's choice. If Naruto wanted to purge himself into his own grave then that was _his choice_. It wasn't his place to interfere with Naruto's personal business. Right? _Right?_

"I swear I'll stop purging," the blonde mumbled, breaking the heavy silence. It was a last ditch attempt at making Sasuke drop the subject and forget it ever happened. Sasuke knew that much.

"And you'll stop eating too, right?" Sasuke accused, watching as Naruto's downcast gaze shifted further away, "Don't insult my intelligence."

Naruto finally looked up and Sasuke had to check himself to make sure he didn't look intimidated. He wanted to look away but he just couldn't. The look in Naruto's dark eyes almost screamed 'You have no idea the thoughts running through my head right now'. It was a pretty distinct warning for Sasuke to just back off now.

And maybe that was honestly Sasuke's best choice right now. He was no doctor. He didn't know how to deal with this. He needed to think about what kind of options he had.

Because right now, he honestly had no idea how to react. And that was a scary thought. He'd never been this inhibited to react before.

Sasuke slowly stood and Naruto gazed suspiciously at him.

"I'm gonna go," he whispered in a defeated tone, earning a somewhat taken aback look from the blonde on the floor.

But then the words sank in and Naruto's features relaxed immensely. He was so sure he was out of the woods and Sasuke wanted to yell at him for it. This wasn't over. But he didn't want Naruto to know that just yet. He bit his tongue as he exited the bathroom, making his way slowly across the small expanse of the kitchen toward the front door.

He would talk to Naruto about this tomorrow when both of them had a clearer mind.

He closed the door behind him and stood still for a long moment before taking several steps down the hall toward the staircase before he slowed to a stop. He turned and gazed at the heavy apartment door as he fought a mental battle over which move to make next.

And then he slowly walked back toward the apartment until he was just before the door before turning and sliding down to the floor, his back against the cold metal.

He would just wait here until then.

**End.**

So I was thinking of making this like a multichapter fic, I could probably go pretty far with the idea, but I wanted to see if anyone was even interested in reading something like that before I started writing. I've got ideas but not much motivation. Let me know. I'm content to leave it here. Maybe you all are too.

I was kind of also thinking of doing another oneshot of this same scene in Naruto's perspective to maybe give you some background on why Naruto started purging. The genre will probably turn to angst, angst, angst if I do lol.

Anyway, if either of these ideas appeal to you, shout it out.


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